…Help, Doctor Phil, how do I cope with this …?

The butterflies in the stomach have started in earnest… nearly couldn’t keep my corn flakes down this morning. All of you parents out there will know the feeling…my little baby’s about to step out for the first time..alone.. into the big wide world out there…sniffle, sniffle.  The empty nest syndrome is beginning to kick in already. The birth of my brand new little book is due this coming week (or so). I’ve studied all the new book parent stuff… Bought it all the nice new marketing clothes, viz, Twitter, (the Mothercare of indies), Facebook (doting auntie ), and Goodreads (loving grannie )…The lists of new novel educational institutions have been mulled over…do we send him/her/it to reviewers first for primary tuition, then on to the dreaded agent/publisher higher education monasteries, where we lose him/her/it for YEARS, attached only by a series of postal orders and money transfers? Or do we finesse the path and have him/her/it exposed to the rigours of the refined boarding school system of other actual, real authors picking up my baby to help nurture it on its universal plod toward the best seller lists? Excuse me, while I demolish another box of paper tissues… I really MUST stop this silly weeping… what WILL people think of me? Oh, and NAMES for it. Toying with the modern fashionistas’ offspring tags spinning around derivations of Beiber, Brittney and Posh Becks was considered for less time than it takes for a Scotsman to donate to charities, before settling on a nice safe, solid, conservative name, VENGEANCE WEARS BLACK. If you bump into my baby out there ( it looks like me, resembling the south end of a north-facing yak), please be kind to it .. it’s a jungle out there…Oh, good, the senior nurse is bringing my sedative…(smuggled out of Safe Ward 241).Image


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

19 responses to “…Help, Doctor Phil, how do I cope with this …?

  1. Susan Buchanan

    I swear you get madder with each post!! I think Alice is looking for a new hatter! Excellent as usual and wishing you all the best with the new bambino! Sooz


  2. jumeirajames

    Seumas – all the very best in your efforts to get a gazillion books sold. I’ll be in the first queque


  3. I wish you all the best with your creative endeavor. It is not a stretch when comparing your works to children. They are nurtured then sent out into the world’s garden to make their way! Stop the nervousness! Yours are very well dressed and you have raised them properly! I can hardly wait to read “Vengeance Wears Black”! Would you consider letting me have a ‘sneek peek’ so I can do another review?! I am rubbing my hands together in glee just thinking of it!


  4. Hi Seumas, As usual you’ve written a VERY funny and entertaining account of your new ‘baby’ – you’ve obviously got what it takes to be a brilliant father. Just take a deep breath (as we women are advised to do in er . . slightly different circumstances). No pain relief required! Best of luck :):)


  5. Terry Tyler

    Really enjoyed reading that, Mr G! You never know, one day I might even find time to read one of your books, too. x


  6. A snappy intro, indeed. Look forward to seeing your little one break out on his own, Seumas. 🙂


  7. Jody

    Seumus, you are as brilliant as you are funny. All The Best in this launching. YAHOO!!


  8. Hilarious post. I feel for you. Don’t worry though, your baby will be find. LOVE the cover by the way!


  9. Oh STOP! You’ve started me now! *blows nose loudly* Have just spotted your new baby on Amazon and ooh, he/she/it is just gorgeous. Love the name you’ve chosen and can’t wait for your new bundle of joy to meet up with mine in the Twitter nursery. Fab post as always, best wishes & many congrats on the new arrival. 🙂


    • Yes.. it’s a bit of a teary-eyed day all round.. he/she/it at least has clean knickkies on, and gloves tied with a string to the sleeve.. hope that lollipop lady’s awake when the road crossing’s to be done.. oh dear,, where’s my hankie.. sniffle , sniffle, sniffle..


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