…t’was a storm and darkly night…what?…Cliches?…Moi??…

…my brain is certainly acknowledged to be mangled beyond recovery by those nearest and dearest to me, (and by Matron, God bless her syringe)…but every now and then comes a pinpoint of light at the far, far, far, far, far end of that dark, dark, dark, dark tunnel of comprehension…in my opinion, I never, never, never, never, never overuse words…nor, it must be said, do I employ cliches at the drop of a hat, that straw that breaks the camel’s back, gilding the lily, overstepping the mark,  or overstaying my literary welcome…as I say, cliche-less to a fault…my writings exhibit flawless, unencumbered, free of, not laden with, burden-free of redundant use of language…Scribbling, scrawling, penning, scrivenering without the use of ‘-ing’ words at the beginn-ing of sentences is a hallmark of mine…well, I think you get the picture…I possess the uncanny ability to incorporate ALL of the weasel-word-y, appalling traits of the nouveau-novelist…however, all is not lost…that God of Authors who beams benignly over our collective dictionaries has presented me this week with access to something  I want to share with my fellow quill-scrapers…a friend of mine, Jim McAllister, (who’s almost finished his superb debut novel —-watch out for his name soon), sent me the link to a self-editing critique software programme called AutoCrit… It identifies all the cr*p exemplified above—-overuse of words, redundancies, cliches,  starting sentences with present participles,  grades the readability levels and so on…If I give my friends on here nothing else  for the rest of my writing career, please take this advice, buy and download this software NOW…you’ll be amazed at how instructive and helpful it is…I have spent the last week using AutoCrit on my Work in Progress for my upcoming third novel, SAVAGE PAYBACK, and am truly astounded at the improvements it’s made for me…AND NO, I’M NOT GETTING COMMISSIONS from AutoCrit for this shout out, they don’t even know I’m doing this…so, no bullsh*t, try it guys and gals …here’s the link  :


…now back to my meandering… where did I leave my participles, Matron…?


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

22 responses to “…t’was a storm and darkly night…what?…Cliches?…Moi??…

  1. Andy

    Will it identify when an entire character, or worse still, an entire book is a cliché?


  2. Thank you, Sir Seumas. Will give it a go (and hope there’s something left of my scribblings when it’s done!) 🙂


  3. Trouble is it’s in American and suggests I should be using “Go figure” “Awesome” “Way to go” in the mouth of Williams Of The Yard…….Hmmm!


  4. Good post. I actually knew about AutoCrit through a friend who purchased it last year. She got the basic program but it was limited. Did you get the pro package? I’m thinking this is something I should buy – very nice tool to help you edit your work. Thanks!


    • Hi ‘L’,

      I chose the package at the top price, which was only USD 117.00, for a year, which I think highly reasonable, especially after seeing it in operation , Remember I’m a complete buffoon when it comes to software and computers and ANY kinda gadget, but I was able to put the analysis page from AutoCrit alongside my Work In Progress, and work the laptop screen with both in view,,,For me, a fantastic tool. I tried it out first on a short story I did recently (3,000 words)..and I really liked what it did ..:):) If you DO try it, please share back if it works for you, Coz my opinion is only one ..:):)


  5. Sounds like the Pro package is the way to go. My friend got the basic and it was pretty limited but she liked it. Although I really hate to tackle a new program right now this sounds doable. Now, if I could only learn Scrivener!


  6. Thanks, Seumas. This looks like something worth looking into. 🙂 I’m constantly knocking my head on danglers.


  7. Alas, Seumas my friend, I do so wish I could sound as bent and be as brilliant as you, with seemingly little to no effort involved. A great tip, amigo, and I’m going to go forthwith and eyeball said software. Who knows, after my writing gets boiled down, I might discover a whole new niche in flash fiction…


  8. Pingback: My brother Seumas is getting to be so coherent with his reduced dosages…we are all so proud. Check out the snazzy software that he recommends…no seriously, do! « Thomas Rydder

  9. I’ve used this before, Seumas, It can be a valuable too, as long as y ou don’t get too bogged down amidst its comprehensive reports. But it can be an invaluable reference.


    • Absolutely spot on, Tom.. I’m conscious of not wanting to lose my own ‘writing voice’, but so far i’m seeing amazing improvements. I’ve begun to re-edit my second novel, and will re-edit the first one after that, The third, which is WIP, i’ve already processed with the Auto Crit… it’s actually making editing fun and hopefully positively productive.. cheers ,that man ! :):)


      • The beauty of the KIndle system….you can always go back and improve your stuff….me I’m going to stick with my idiosyncrasies and try to invent my own clichés…it’s the imperfections that make us unique.


  10. I must be extremely unique at that rate , then …


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