… whatever ye do, don’t mess with my sausages… #TBSU…

… there are those who swear their unfaltering allegiance to Bacon… No, Mabel, not the actor Laddie, Kevin… nor the Filosofer Chappie, Sir Francis… we’re talking the edible sort that gets slapped on to sandwiches… or sometimes diced up and served in exotic dishes like Spaghetti Carbonara... I’m a sausages man, myself, always have been, always will be… BUT, like most Caledonian epicureans, I’m a bit picky about my bangers… none of yer daft wee finger-thin excuses fills the bill (or the stomach)… yer foreign furters also don’t hit the spot… in Scotland we have the WURLD’s best SQUARE SLICED SAUSAGES… if yeez haven’t tried them yet, yeez haven’t LIVED... normal, big, fat links-sausages are also acceptable fare, especially if just a tad over-fried, gives them that wee crunchy texture… where am I going with this?… well, ye see, once upon a time I saw some sausages being made in a factory that I shall not name, (to protect the guilty)… the nice people on the production line explained in detail what was going on, and more importantly, what was going IN to the stuff … they were stuffing what they called EXTENDERS into the meat … in layman’s language, that’s,  ‘any old edible garbage that acts as a filler’… I could see my whole eating life whizz past in front of me in a nano-second… I almost had a wee attack of the vapours, but managed to get out of there with my sensibilities intact… further enquiries were made AT ONCE… I’m pleased to report that NOT ALL sausage manufacturers use EXTENDERS... the lesson’s clear, EXTENDERS are NOT GOOD THINGS… now carry that idea into yer quill-scraping, Lads and Lassies of  Blog Land… when ye think it’s good practice to throw EXTENDERS into yer masterpieces to get yer WURDCOUNT up… it will be found out… in  most cases it will degrade yer WURK… resist the temptation… ‘Get Thee Behind Me Extenders’… pure WURK is like pure SAUSAGES… ye can’t beat it… oh, heck… Matron heard me shouting… here she comes with that bluudy syringe… see yeez later …

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6 responses to “… whatever ye do, don’t mess with my sausages… #TBSU…

  1. Lol, this made me smile, especially as I read it with a Scottish accent! And me a Sassenach too. I’ve eaten the square sausage, fits nicely on the bread when making a sausage and fried onion sandwich, but alas can’t be bought for love nor money here in France. So I make my own, chubby wee things, or turn the home-made sausage meat into sausage rolls with proper flaky pastry!


  2. Suddenly I’m both inspired and hungry… Spaghetti carbonara is a favorite dish of mine, but I’d love to visit Scotland for some of those world-famous sliced sausages! Hope I can keep my writing just as pure!

    Lovely to meet you, Seumas! Thanks for scratching my blog! 🙂


  3. Oh, square sliced sausage and sausage rolls … feeling homesick as I drool. I did find a nice wee shop in Chicago-land that sells guid bangers. That’ll be stovies fur ma tea, then 🙂


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