‘…it was the best of blogs… it was the worst of blogs…’ #TBSU…

…some of these quill-scrapers from ‘way back knew how to toss a phrase… Chuck Dickens and Billy Shakespeare still get quoted all over the place… they had WURDS that nob’dy else had even heard of before they both started scribbling…  how good that must feel, eh, Mabel?… inventing yer own vocabulary… and ye’ve gotta LUV that back to front way of speaking they had people use in their WURKS… only young Master Tolkien in modern times comes close with that stuff… oh, and some of the characters in Star Wars do it too, but everybody knows that’s because the actors keep getting their lines mixed up… ‘…Go to the toilet now, I must, etc…’... lexicons nowadays contain about seven trillion WURDS (I’ve counted only about a half of them so far) but most have no life in them… only dull sounds with letters, the bulk of them… where’s that old ON-O–MATTA-PAY-YA thing-y my English dominie rattled on about?… or the delectably delicious dictionarial delving dreamward, dancing delightfully during daring alliterative forays?… writing can be difficult at times, I grant yeez, so why not sprinkle a bit of authorial licence into yer masterpieces?… throw in a wee WURD or two from the back of yer own mindbox?… confound the Critiqueurs… mangle a metaphor or sideswipe a simile?… then, oh then, the sheer effrontery of SPLITTING AN INFINITIVE … to brazenly do it… the literary Empire Strikes back… gerund-grubbing can be fun if yeez know how to use yer  ‘-ings’ to maximum effect, usually at the start of a sentence is the way to hook the attention of the grammar police… and get really cheeky and culminate a sentence with a preposition with… oops, I think they’ve twigged what this ol’ Jurassic’s doing… I think they’ve belled Matron… she’s stomping through here with that bluudy syringe… see yeez later …

4 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

4 responses to “‘…it was the best of blogs… it was the worst of blogs…’ #TBSU…

  1. jumeirajames

    Reblogged this on iNation and commented:
    true, so true

    Like

  2. laurie27wsmith

    I can hear the hobnailed boots of the grammar Nazis stomping up your path there lad.

    Like

  3. caroleremy

    Hi Seumas! One of the great joys of writing poems is coining words. Sometimes it just sounds right, you know? Hug! Moving back to the US, and will be more in touch in another month or so.

    MC

    Like

  4. jumeirajames

    A true author would rather split their trousers than an infinitive

    Like

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