Monthly Archives: October 2013

…and I’d like to thank my hairdresser, my English professor, and my kilt presser… #TBSU…

…sniff, sniff, sniff… tartan hankie blows nose… wipes away the welling tears… my wee baby, my wee baby… my wee baby’s doing okay… ‘ccording  to the Amazon UK Kindle version of Lies, Lies and Statistics, here’s how it’s doing as of now, eight days after it toddled into the readership universe…

…Amazon Bestsellers Rank:

#150 Paid in Kindle Store

#50 in Kindle Store > Books > Crime, Thrillers & Mystery
#50 in Books > Crime, Thrillers & Mystery > Thrillers…

… like most of yeez lads and Lassies of Blog Land, I care not one jot about best-seller rankings and such… (…who the f*ck am I trying to kid, Mabel???!!!…) … of course I’m gratified with the take-up, drawdown, outtake, up-draw…heck, call it what yeez like… it’s bluudy marvellous just to get an honourable mention… I was one among billions who scoffed when that lassie went nuts at the Oscars a while back…do yeez remember her?… ‘…oh, my…they LIKE me! they LIKE me! they LIKE me!…’ , she squealed, squeaked and squawked while her acceptance speech over-ran about two and a half hours… well, now, in all fairness, I kinda sense a bit of what she must have felt like… so, if any of the Nobel Literature Prize panel is interested, I have been practising a few WURDS of thanks… I’d like to thank my hairdresser, without whose skull-polishing skills my follically-challenged cranium would be dull-matted and boring for the camera shots… I’d like to thank my English professor who regularly insisted that most of my essay WURDS were non-existent, p*ssing me off to such a  degree I continue to this day to invent stuff that sounds like WURDS… I’d like to thank my kilt-presser for ensuring that the ‘hang’ is always sufficient not to land me in jail…(…if yeez don’t understand that, I’m not going to explain it to yeez…) …after that, as they used to say in The Good Old Days, that wonderful television show some of yeez of a certain age may recall, I’d like to thank principally YERSELVES!! for all the LUV and support… yer propagation of this ol’ Jurassic’s scribblings is the stuff of dreams… LUV YEEZ!!!… see yeez later…







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…let he among yeez who’ve already won a Pulitzer Prize be the first to cast a negative review… #TBSU…

ALERT  ALERT  ALERT… yet another of this daft old Scotsman’s waxing FILOSOFIKAL again…

…there’s an uncannily strong correlation between the Negative Nellies of this WURLD and their propensity to carp at everyone else… I’m sure yeez’ve all seen enuff of them in yer time… the quickest-off-the-mark-at-blaming-the-rest-of-the-planet-for-their-own-lack-of-success pedlars… the intrinsic Losers-in-Life’s-Lottery from sheer lack of trying… real people know that yeez don’t always have to be Number One on the podium, just so long as yeez give stuff yer best shot… if this ol’ Jurassic has learned anything in the muddle through staying alive this long it is quite simply this… ‘…to keep something, yeez  have to give it away…’ … no, Mabel, I’m not yacking on about money and tangible things… I mean the important intangibles… fr’example, generosity of spirit… encouraging others yeez meet on a regular or even a one-time basis… a WURD of appreciation… a smile of affirmation… it might be the only positive thing that happens in that person’s day… for we quill-scrapers, dwelling in the virtual candle-lit garrets of the Web, it can be a very lonely place… a touch of humanity from yer fellows can transform the way the universe looks… I’ve said it before, and I’ll bore yeez silly with it again and again and again… help yer writing family everywhere yeez can… ReTweet sumb’dy’s success… share on Facebook a triumph for yer neighbour’s WURK… and if we’re doing a review for sumb’dy, be HONEST, but don’t crucify their labours… let he or she among yeez who’ve already won a Pulitzer prize be the first to cast a negative review… remember we all have dreams… it costs NUTHIN to reinforce the hope that drives the scribbler’s toils… so, go virtually hug a writer today… yeez’ll feel as good as yer huggee… see yeez later … LUV YEEZ….



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…no WURDS needed… just a soul… no apologies for sharing this again… enjoy… #TBSU…

…play it loud… and often… and wide screen…that’s all..  ye’re welcome! :))


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… ‘multi-tasking’ is the ability to procrastinate on several things at the one time… #TBSU…

…genius, me… I’ve discovered the art of deflecting non-time-precious activity to some nebulous future timing… don’t mistake me, I DO focus well, but have learned ‘focus’ is best applied to only one or two issues… everything else is just ‘stuff’… that’s where the multi-tasking ploy kicks in… yeez’ll understand that being a prospective Iconic Author demands almost unlimited blethering (…that’s Scots for ‘gossiping’, ‘chattering’, ‘chin-wagging’, Mabel…) on the SOSYAL NETWURKIN circuit… I’m not certain if Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads and LinkedIn would actually collapse if I wasn’t perpetually present on them, but yeez can’t take chances in this WURLD… I read extensively of others’ blogs and mutterings on these channels, and note a wide set of opinions on the efficacy of being active on them… some aver it takes too much time from the business of writing… others lament the diversion of much-needed scribbling and thinking time for their masterpieces… then comes a clutch of Web Dwellers who obviously were born to be on the Internet as their stuff is so good… well, chacun to his own gout, as the French say… my take on it sits more to the being-on-here-and-plugging-in brigade… those of yeez who’ve flattered me by following this blog for any length of time will know I regularly spout on about the BUILDING THE PLATFORM ethos… considered wisdom seems to say the days of being just a quill-scraper are past… the need to be heard above the literary babble is constant… ergo, all yeez Lads and Lassies of Blog Land who desire to be acknowledged out there as authors are strongly advised to don a different skin and become yer own mouthpieces… it goes against the grain for many of yeez, I know, but agents and publishers will NOT be the primary sellers of yer wares… that push has to come from yerselves… hence the need to multi-task on the ether-waves… embrace it… LUV IT… fake it ’til ye make it… but DO it… yes, Matron, I’m screaming again… one bluudy syringe -load’ll do… see yeez later …



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Orkney: Ring of Brodgar

… the islands are ALWAYS fascinating … thanks for sharing, Kate 🙂

K. A. Laity

There’s nothing quite like these amazing old monuments, is there? Mary and Amy brought me by here the night I arrived in Orkney. I tried to take a picture in the moonlight but my camera wasn’t really up to it. But it was magical to be sure.

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It’s Officially a Series!

…well, honestly…how could I NOT re-blog this one from Jim Wright???!! 🙂



I suspected it was coming. Getting something past me is like trying to smuggle sunrise past a rooster! That kilted quill scraper, Seumas Gallacher, has officially christened three of his books by naming them the Jack Calder Series! That’s right. You heard it second-hand first right here from Ol’ Big Jim. Read all about it at his blog, Seumas Gallacher!

I’m reading Savage Payback now (watch this space for my review). If you like action, a thrill a minute, and a good ol’ fashioned mystery you should be dropping everything and clicking the links below to add all three ‘Jack Tales’ to your library now!













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…that Author’s LUVVLY, ‘THURD book written’ Syndrome… #TBSU…

…so yeez wake up one morning and it dawns on yeez , ‘…it’s done… the THURD book’s completed and launched…’ …this ol’ Jurassic has read so much about what a watershed moment that can be for any quill-scraper… the realisation that ye’ve been scribbling away for a matter of years now, not just weeks or months… and three of yer wee babies are out there in the Wild and Woolly WURLD of Amazon Kindle... and ye sometimes get lucky, as well… fr’example, a web connection friend has asked me the simple question, ‘…why are yer books not labelled as A SERIES?…’ …why not, indeed? I repeat to myself?… at first I’d resisted the notion, thinking that the reading public may resist buying/downloading any of the novels in the mistaken belief that one book HAD to follow another in sequence… not so, looking around at other successful authors who’ve multiple books with the same basic characters at the core… ergo, therefore, as a consequence, following all of that thought process, I now formally announce that my trio of literary offerings to date (apart from my blog collections, of course) now constitute the foundation of THE JACK CALDER SERIES… there are at least two more already formulating in my little grey cells, so watch out for further klaxoning from me about Jack Calder… the experts tell me this is called ‘franchising’… they also reliably inform me that, ‘…people LUV franchised characters…’ …well, time will tell on that score…  meantime, yeez can tell yer grandchildren yeez heard it here first… the universe is officially informed, ‘…as of OCTOBER 28TH, 2013, Master Gallacher’s novels are dubbed, THE JACK CALDER SERIES…’  …there, Mabel, feels good doesn’t it?… and we’ll dress them up together here for their first group outing … see yeez later…



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…I’ll get ‘BUY’ with a little help from my friends… doncha just LUV ‘viral’ ? … #TBSU…

…I’m cogitating here in my wee virtual candle-lit garret and the WURLD looks good today… the interim report card is in… my newest fledgling crime thriller masterpiece… (…oh, the sheer modesty of the man!…) …is performing well in its first full week of exposure to the reading universe… SAVAGE PAYBACK took its first nervous steps onto the Amazon Kindle stage about this time last weekend… this doting author parent is gratified at the reception so far… the reviews have begun to appear on the and pages as well as on Goodreads… and all have been generous to date… (…swift ‘phew’ and wipe of the brow…)… the domino effect has started… in Webby-Speak that translates into ‘going viral’… kind friends share the book’s  presence with their contacts, and they ask them all to do the same,… and them to do the same… and them…. well, yeez get the picture… the last time I had anything viral going on was when I caught a dose of the measles as a child about a hundred years ago… all jesting aside, I am grateful to the nth to those wonderful folks who’ve taken time to do an HONEST review for me… the depth and quality of reviews is staggering… for an ol’ Jurassic quill-scraper there’s NUTHIN to beat knowing that yer WURK’s being appreciated, particularly among yer own species, the scribbler brigade… sometimes when giving thanks, yeez say, ‘there’s so many to acknowledge, so it’s daft to try to name them all…’ …that’s happening right now… let me just bow in all humility to the tons of yeez who’ve Re-Tweeted the launch details, shared it on yer Facebook pages, and put it onto yer Goodreads links… ye’re making a happy man very old… LUV YEEZ…

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Stray cat

…my friend, Jane Dougherty demonstrates yet again her beautiful word smith talent.. enjoy this 🙂

Jane Dougherty Writes

He sits on the doorstep, the little stray cat,

ears twisting every which way

eyes darting back and forth

unwilling to hold my gaze.

I open the door slowly

watch him tense and quiver

next to the bowl of food half-eaten

that I leave to salve my conscience.

He eyes the door, the gap that opens

Sniffs the smell of warm quiet and other cats.

He gathers a hero’s courage

to still those back legs

quivering with desire to spring away.

More than food he wants to slip

a grey shadow

and hide among the mysteries of sanctuary.

I see a longing in those frightened eyes

for something all of us were meant to have.

A home

a place where there is no rain no cold

where no one with a careless laugh

will drive him from the dirt kept dry

beneath his curled frame.

I leave the door ajar…

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The Ape goes APE!!!!

…follow the Ape.. he knows what he’s ranting about “::)

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog


The end of October (Halloween) is fast approaching and I regret to announce that I have only four (FOUR) Author postings for November and two of those are by curtesy of my good friend  

Andrew Buckley !!!!

WHY IS THIS – HAS THE APE BEEN ASLEEP?” I hear muted screams coming from deep within the Jungle of Modern Literature.

Well – No actually. It seems to be because Indie Authors are becoming discouraged and dispondent and are retreating into their shells, actively avoiding publicity about themselves and their books – it’s almost as if they are ashamed of calling themselves Indie or Self-published authors.


Well – Yes actually, but something…

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