…authors, it’s not the WURDS yeez use… it’s HOW yeez use them… #TBSU…

…it doesn’t get any more basic than WURDS… the raw fuel that peppers our language… the ingredients that sprinkle and seep into every written morsel ever produced by quill-scrapers since before the baby hill that was Mont Blanc grew into a mountain, and not a scrivener’s implement… the prosaic pedants and the Grammar Police, together with the innumerable committees of lexicon-compilers, guesstimate anywhere between 175,000 and 250,000 WURDS in the Queen’s English… that’s assuming Her Majesty is fluent in all the multiplicity of absorbed fragments of tongues from other lands that’ve snuck into our lingo… as crusading crafters of the creative criteria, we weave and weft wild and wanton wizardry with our nibs and laptop keyboards… generally, yeez’ll give little pause to paunder the prauvenance of much of yer versatile vocabulary… this ol’ Jurassic hails from a northern Land Across The Wall… Hadrian’s Wall, to give it the common title… and more specifically for those of a Google-Map fetish… a wee place called Govan, in Docklands Glasgow … I almost lobbed a half-brick at the television screen earlier today to hear a Southern British lady pronounce ‘Govan’ with the first two letters as ‘Go’ as in ‘Stop/Go’… the WURD starts with a sound ‘GUV’ …a gap in the lady’s elocutionary education, obviously… but it led me to think how much of the richness of the ‘G’U’Van’ vernacular may be lost to the ear of those hearing it at a distance… fr’example, offence is seldom taken in Glasgow to the widespread use of coarse Anglo-Govan-Saxon WURDS, which are similar in genesis to coarse Anglo-Saxon, but with added attitude… there’s also the oft-mistaken meaning of the double-positive, which when uttered by a Govan local,  ‘Aye!…Right!’ is not a term of agreement… and the ‘Glasgow Kiss’ has nowt to do with endearment, as it is a description of the rapid application of one person’s forehead to the bridge of the nose of another, usually with the attendant grasping of the nose-bridge owner/receiver’s jacket lapels…  and ‘knuckle-dusters’ have NUTHIN to do with hand-cleansers… but, I digress, and in the interests of brevity, and before Matron gets here with that bluudy syringe, I exhort my fellow Lads and Lassies of Blog Land to consider the term allegedly coined by Roosevelt about Winston Churchill, “…he mobilized the English language and sent it into battle….” … go arm yerselves with a few vocabuleric grenades… see yeez later…


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

12 responses to “…authors, it’s not the WURDS yeez use… it’s HOW yeez use them… #TBSU…

  1. You Scotchmen are too touchy, Seumas.


  2. I love this post. Thank you for reminding me that words are some of the most beautiful things in the universe! You Rock, Seumas!


  3. So beautifully true and I love the flair 😉


  4. Brilliant post – makes me feel very patriotic in a ‘gaun yersel’ kinda way 🙂 Language is like a barrier but it takes a genius to realise we are all trying to say the same thing.


  5. Words, more powerful than any weapon. Yet, gentle enough to lull into dream land. Great post!


  6. laurie27wsmith

    Words….it’s not how big they are, it’s how you use them!


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