…WURLD scoop… what’s in the Queen’s handbag?… #TBSU…

…Her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second of England (a.k.a. Queen Elizabeth the First of Scotland, as some of my fellow Caledonians will continue to attest) has ruled these British Isles  for 60 years now… a fair old WURK shift yeez have to admit… one noticeably constant appendage feature in her public walkabouts and engagements is her hubbie, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (a.k.a the Chookie Ennbra, in Scotland)… the other royal don’t-leave-home-without-it item is her handbag… and it’s never one of yer teeny wee clutch thingy-s, but a proper watch-yer-head-if-she-takes-a swing-at-yeez-with-it weapon… most of the ladies in my life have tended to utilise such fashion accessories as portable haversacks, containing everything from the proverbial kitchen sink to such vitally important items as bits of biscuits half-eaten from the last picnic attended… I can reveal in a WURLD scoop that her Majesty’s handbag carries more important paraphernalia… as a matter of State Security, some of the contents must remain unrevealed (but for a small deposit to my offshore bank account, I may whisper it to yeez)… unfailingly before leaving Buck House, the Monarchic Missus will scoop off the kitchen table into her bag-of-the-day some of the following: a range of lipsticks, lest running repairs be needed at the Opening of Parliament (…her favourite colour apparently is a neat little line in Goth Royal Blue…)…a bit of paper with the telephone number of Regal Taxis (Horse-Borne) Limited, in the event the Gold State Carriage gets a puncture… some business cards to hand out at cocktail parties, with simply ‘Queen’ embossed, although a Court Case with Freddy Mercury’s people still lingers over her right to use that title… one interesting feature is that Her Highness does not carry an Identity Card, but prefers to have a folded-up sterling pound note at the bottom of the bag, which in case of I/D requirement she can produce and show folks her picture on it… oh, and she always carries at least one of my crime thrillers to keep herself amused on long flights… a woman of impeccable taste… (obviously)… see yeez later …

queenbag 2

bag 1


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

9 responses to “…WURLD scoop… what’s in the Queen’s handbag?… #TBSU…

  1. laurie27wsmith

    ‘Ooh Phil, who put that book in my handbag, you know the one written by that, that Scottish man from the docks?”
    “Humph, sorry old girl I don’t have any room in my pocket at all for it. I have those books written by that Smith chappie. You remember him, he gave me the forks in Sydney, back in 1970.”


  2. Really Seumas? Goth Royal Blue? And, for us heathens from the USA, what means Chookie Ennbra? I did have a laugh at you conjuring up Freddy Mercury, though!


  3. How tough would it be to get one of those business cards? A title. No address. (Sorta like “Author”). Thanks for the chuckle.


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