…Vogue for Bravehearts… no sporrans were harmed in the making of this Blog Post…

…a week ago, this ol’ Jurassic was privileged to be the Guest Speaker at The American Womens Association in Bahrain… it was a remarkably lively affair, and the Q and A session produced a surprising amount of enquiries into my apparel of the day… my kilt… it occurs to me that the intricacies and mysteries of my Scottish National Dress may be a source of puzzlement to many of yeez not blessed to have been born in the Land of the Haggis… hence the notion to elaborate and arm yeez with a whole new bunch of trivia with which to amaze yer friends at yer next dinner party…

…a descriptive essay on each element of the ensemble could run to thousands of WURDS… but for the Dedicated Followers of Caledonian Fashion, a more succinct summary follows:

…Brogues… these are the solid, leather footwear with laces which wind all the way up the lower part of the wearer’s legs and tied in a double knot at the side… not to be confused with ballet shoes…

…thick, all-weather woollen Socks, reaching to an inch below the knee, sometimes patterned with whorls and wee thistle emblems for the aficionado of Scottish hosiery… not to be mistaken as football socks…

…tartan Flashes for the Kilt Socks are the tie-ups, holding the Socks in place at the right level below the knee… tartan flashers are sum’thing entirely different and don’t belong in a family-friendly blog post such as this…

…tucked into the top of the right leg Sock is the sgian dubh, in Gaelic, ‘the dark knife’… as an Author, I keep it there as my hidden weapon to fend off nasty editors… it is not to be used for spreading yer marmalade on yer toasted scones…

…the Kilt itself… the centrefold centrepiece… it is said that a good Kilt wears the man, not vice versa… the presence of a substantial male derriere lends better ‘swing’ to the cloth… much nonsense is broadcast about weight and number of pleats in a specific Kilt… I find that more than 20 kilos is too heavy, and an excess of 200 pleats a bit much for ironing… standard is about 8 kilos and 40 pleats… get in some serious wearer-training, budding Highlanders…

…the Sporran… the bit that hangs down in the front of the Kilt…. no, Mabel, not that bit… I said we’ll keep this clean… the hold-all for yer money, yer MacBraynes ferry tickets to the Hebrides, and yer Writer’s calling cards to hand out to doting admirers at American Womens Association gatherings… a-hem…

…the best-leather Belt with shiny buckle… a minimum of three inches broad… silvered clasp at the front, holds just about everything together when yeez breathe in…

…Kilt Jacket, the photo above shows the formal version, with more shiny buttons… not too many… this isn’t the Cockney Pearly Kings and Queens stuff…

…Dress Shirt, with attendant Bow Tie finishes it all off neatly…

…and yeez are ready… Vogue for Bravehearts… and no sporrans were harmed in the making of this Blog Post…

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…

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