…chocolate… the ultimate Author food… my name’s Seumas, and I’m a chocoholic…

…coming as I do from the Land that gave yeez Fried Mars Bars, it’s hardly a surprise to know that chocolate features large in my own diet…


…like many of yeez Lads and Lassies chained as we are to the laptop on a regular basis, the cavalry arrives frequently with supplies of sustenance to keep the literary juices flowing… yeez can have yer wine— white, red, rose, or whatever… yeez may indulge chips, bonbons, and croissants… a few (and only a few, I understand) will nibble on healthy fruits, nuts and other such saintly fodder… these eating and drinking items are consumed at any and all hours of the day and night as yeez quill-scrapers tap away at yer tomes… but none of the prior menu items comes even close to chocolate…  it may take the guise of wee chunks broken from larger mother blocks… plain, milk, white, dark, pointy-Tobleroney-triangles, even if needs must, fruit and nut embedded as a passing nod to ‘health’…


…choco-chip cookies, half-coated digestive biscuits, Jaffa Cakes (who cares if sumb’dy argues whether or not these are cakes or biscuits—there’s chocolate on them…get stuck in), wafers, fingers, eclairs, wrapped-in-foil, Quality-Street-in-big-coloured-tins, all part of the endless stream of Author-grub… but NUTHIN, except NUTHIN, surpasses the ultimate luxury, the pinnacle of chocolate-dom, the uncounterfeitable Tunnock’s Caramel Wafers


…apologies, after I typed that last wee bit I had to stand up and salute… yeez know how it is, right?… when all else fails, as Popeye would call for his spinach, as Bugs Bunny would indulge his carrots, as W.C.Fields would look to remove the cork from his lunch, then every sell-respecting scribbler in time of belly-filling need cries out to the Gods, ‘Bring Me Tunnocks Caramel Wafers, Or Bring Me Death’… I’m quite peckish now… must go and have a choccy snack… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

28 responses to “…chocolate… the ultimate Author food… my name’s Seumas, and I’m a chocoholic…

  1. Having licked the screen a few times, I can safely say fmmmnnnsnnnslpppp

    Liked by 2 people

  2. BlonDEE

    Aw, Seumas,,,,,, you’ve gone and wakened the chocolate dragon I’ve been TRYIN’ to keep asleep…..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Think I know what I’m putting on today’s shopping list. Chicken because I need to cook it for dinner, but now chocolate is on there too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My name is Jeanette Ford and I’m a chocaholic too. My dad always said I have Cadbury’s running through my veins. I’ve been trying very hard to give it up but since it’s a must for a scribbler, I have the perfect excuse not to! You just made my day, Seumas 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Seumas Gallacher​ waxing lyrical on what he considers nectar of the gods.. chocolate in general and in all forms but especially Tunnocks Caramel Wafers.. If I am honest…I find it hard to resist anything that is a combination of milk chocolate and almonds.. paste and whole..mmmmm.. What is your preference?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I will have to try those wafers! Ever been to Pittsburgh? They would say “yinz” as opposed to “yeez” in their famous dialect! Your post just brought that to my mind 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Clean out of chocolate here. 😦 But I do have some home-cooked, extra-rich, cocoa blancmange, to fill the gap. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve searched the desk drawers, the overhead lamp bowl, the secret compartment behind my printer, I can’t find where I’ve hidden the chocolate. This, my dear Seumas, is a major problem.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You’ve made me think of Dragon’s Den. In yesterday’s episode they had somebody come in and bring his ‘raw chocolate’ products, and the dragons wouldn’t stop eating them and four of them offered him a deal for more money than he asked for. Power to chocolate indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I don’t think we have that brand of wafer in the U.S., Seumas, but I’m sure there’s something similar. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ordered some Tunnocks on line and discovered how darned addictive they are. As for chocolate – I could bathe in it. Then I guess I’d be Chocolate Finger.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Rosa Ave Fénix

    Dear… dear…daer!!! For some I had forgotren that chocolate existed!!!!! too dangerous for health…. but, you’re a bad boy to remain me about this pleasure….


  13. I can write without chocolate but edit no way my last book required several packs of mint Clubs be consumed during the process


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