‘…they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse… I try to get out, but they pull me back in…’ (Author Seumas ‘Corleone’ Gallacher)

…there’s an insidious literary force at WURK that permeates the grey cells of lots of Authors of my acquaintance… fellow scribblers will be well-accustomed to the Midnight Mental Mafia Machinations Syndrome… that strange affliction that creeps into yer head just as yeez try to get to sleep… yer latest masterpiece-in-progress’ Dramatis Personae (fancy WURDS for ‘cast of characters’, Mabel) just refuse to go away… when yer eyelids are drooping and the fuddlement of slumber sets in, these inhabitants of yer embryonic novel kick on into the night shift… the endless nocturnal cerebral committee meetings start… yer subliminal being is usurped by main character after main character screaming at yeez to ‘do this, do that, change this, change that, say this, say that’


…and yeez wake up in the morning already drained and exhausted… the thoughtfully-planned narrative yeez had in mind has been hijacked and hijeaned, depending on the gender of the player involved… the direction of yer storyline gets manoeuvred down lanes and avenues yeez never intended… pleading with them is pointless… once ‘they’ have decided what ‘they’ wanna do, the hapless writer has no choice but to accede meekly and direct yer laptop to reflect ‘their’ demands… of course, most of yeez will claim that in reality the revised plot is exactly what yeez had wanted all along… don’t fool yerselves… these characters are merciless… time after time I attempted to rebuff their overtures and write the story as I saw it… but, on every occasion, ‘…they made me an offer I couldn’t  refuse… I try to get out, but they pull me back in…’


…I need help… my characters are hard people, capable of doing ‘dark things’  (Editor: well, Master Gallacher, whose fault is it that yeez decided to get into hard crime fiction in the first place?)… I may have to adopt to a pseudonym, or resort to making a living writing political speeches (it’s all fiction after all, right?)… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

29 responses to “‘…they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse… I try to get out, but they pull me back in…’ (Author Seumas ‘Corleone’ Gallacher)

  1. Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Welcome to the DARK SIDE of authorship… 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Should I call Gino and Vito to help? Too funny Seumas! You are a character!! Always enjoy your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You’re preaching to the choir, Seamus.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I know the feeling. I share your frustration. I had no idea, until recently, that my storyline had changed. But that’s my detective. He won’t stay on track. I tried to offer a better alternative, tried to work with him on a small problem. Only he went and got himself demoted. I’m lost. Truly.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Believe me, this nasty habit is not exclusive to the hardened crime squads and detective characters; they all do it – mine included. You plan a book one way and what comes out? Something completely different to what you intend! I’ve come to the conclusion that these characters are real and living in another dimension; they are just using us as a means to tell their stories…and they are in collusion with each other to ensnare as many hapless scribblers as they can…


  6. Reblogged this on Writer's Treasure Chest and commented:
    ‘…I need help… my characters are hard people, capable of doing ‘dark things’ ‘ (quote by Seumas Gallacher)
    You know me… I cannot resist lending a helping hand if another author is asking for it. That’s one of the reasons why I shared this blog post. The other one is, that I find Seumas Gallacher just a unique very interesting character and personality – and an extraordinary writer!! Enjoy the post.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. If it helps, I have a cast of completely new characters demanding my attention but at the same time, the old ones want another book and won’t leave.

    My sympathies with your plight.



    Liked by 1 person

  8. Maybe you should try bribing them with chocolate, coffee, or ice cream, Seumas. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Reblogged this on T. W. Dittmer and commented:
    Seumas Gallacher writes about the characters of his books taking over his life. Of course, I have no idea what he’s raving about. Honest, Doc., I’m okay. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Very well put, Seumas. Love and hate!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Reblogged this on Author Mary J. McCoy-Dressel and commented:
    I knew I’d REBLOG this post before halfway through reading… I’ve had many of these offers myself. Offers I can’t refuse from my characters who seem to never sleep–who think I don’t need to either. “Thanks so much for understanding, Seumas,” I say with red eyes and a foggy brain…

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Great crowning comment at the end Seumas, re the political speeches/fiction! Loved this post. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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