…aren’t top Literary Agents and Big Five Publishers imaginary species?…

…this ol’ Scots Jurassic scribbler has long since realized that any complaining or whining from me, about anything, seldom achieves positive results… and that fact pertains especially to my publishing aspirations… over the past ten years, I’ve experienced the sum’time exhilarating, sum’time depressing, pendulum familiar to many authors… when my first wee literary baby came hot onto Auntie Amazon Kindle, I savoured the high that came with a successful first book sales volume… that tome reached #3 on Amazon (all titles) at the time… subsequent titles were equally well received… from a novice self-publisher, I graduated into having an excellent, small, hybrid publisher, but amicably parted company with them after a year, as the sales were not to my expectations, dropping to levels well below those that my own marketing and promotional activities generated… in between then and now, I’ve also dabbled with a freelance agent, but equally friendly severance came after a few months… ergo, here I sit (comfortably) in the same self-publishing persona that I had when I started… my question is quite simply this (as it has been for a couple years)… aren’t top Literary Agents and Big Five Publishers imaginary species?

…I ask that in all sincerity, safe in the knowledge that my books have been downloaded on Kindle more than 100,000 times, registering me by any measure as a ‘bestseller’… so, where are the phone calls, the battering down of my front door, the pitches from the elusive top agents and international publishing houses, whom, I’m led to believe, like to have authors in their stables who produce serial titles that sell lots of books, thereby enriching their coffers as well as mine?… are there any of them lurking on Facebook? or skulking around on Twitter? or prospecting on the Blogosphere?… don’t get me wrong, I’m more than pleased with the continual offtake across my titles on a regular basis, but the dream is always there of having that big swinging hit that propels Master Gallacher (Iconic Writing Legend In His Own Lunchtime) onto the global reading market… if any of yeez are a top Agent or a Big Five Publisher, don’t be shy, I really  don’t bite… give me a call… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

27 responses to “…aren’t top Literary Agents and Big Five Publishers imaginary species?…

  1. rohini99

    From what I gathered, they’re there, just waiting to be contacted! They like to sit in their eyries high above us plebeian folk and wait to receive obeisance in the form of a ‘pretty-please-on-my-knees’ here’s my 50 pages, synopsis, and everlasting love letter. You’re doing quite well on your own. Turn one into a script and pitch it to a movie maker.

    Liked by 8 people

  2. Seumas, You seem to be doing brilliant on your own. Unless it is something that dreamed of, then do it! I absolutely understand that! Either way, I think that you are an amazing and brilliantly talented writer! You are an amazing success no matter what! Many BLESSINGS and SMILES to you, my dear sweet friend!!! 😊✒🌟

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is a conum, condrum, er thingie to use the technical term. Perhaps we’re in the middle of a transitional period where the big 5 are worrying about the amount of doo-dahs horses leave behind while the Indies have discovered the motor car. 😀 Who knows? Perhaps in a few years’ time Movie makers will be banging on our doors whilst (I love using that word) traditional publishers are busy feeding their dodos. Mwah.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Seumas I’m happy to relieve you of 25% of your royalties for doing absolutely nothing. well I could drop an email to Speilburg if you like.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have come to think that attracting the interest of such people has about the same chances going for it as winning a major sweepstake. Only worse, because with some of them you can’t even buy a ticket.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Their extinction hasn’t quite caught up with them yet. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
    Check out this thought-provoking post from Seumas Gallacher’s blog on the possibility that top literary agents and big five publishers are imaginary species.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. As always, you help us poor over-worked, underpaid Indie writers…smile. We should pay YOU royalties just for that. The humor keeps us doing what we do: write with passion and eagerness, ghost agents be damned.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Reblogged this on Have We Had Help? and commented:
    It’s that man again. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You seem in a happy place right now Seumas. All the best in whatever you decide. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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