Tag Archives: friends

…epic, epic moment this morning…I talked, face-to-face, with a live Human Being (person)…#TBSU…

…now, really, I’m not normally one to boast…indeed as Churchill once said when told that Opposition M.P., Nye Bevan was ‘such a  humble man’,  …”Yes, but he’s got so much to be humble about ..”…that’s about my own measure…but occasionally along pitches a watershed moment… let me back up a wee bit here…over the past twelve-month this poor quill-scraper’s been immersed in ‘building the platform’ (you independent self-publishing souls who labour in that same vein, will understand what I’m talking about)…which has led to an inordinate amount of minutes, hours, days, part-lifetime, online with this SOSYAL NETWURKIN channel and that…net result, I’m now on intimate terms with all manners of ROBO-PLUGINS…y’know the kind I mean… on good ol’ Facebook nowadays they’ve got this cute little blurb across yer wall post area ‘How are ye feeling today, Seumas?’… that Master Zuckerburg and his cohorts even cite my name is actually a bit spooky… until now I’ve kept my feelings to meself, thank you very much…I’ve no desire to have Master Z. splash my innermost thoughts to a planet of other ROBO-RESPONDEES…then, for those of us already snared in the clutches of KLOUT… I’ve NO idea how on earth they got hold of me, but it’s a supposed measure of how yer name’s faring on the SOSYAL NETWURKIN circuit…how many peeps are rabbitin’ on about ye, and suchlike…today it came on and complimented me for having in excess of a certain number of Facebook friends … y’see the fat end of the wedge here?…KLOUT has its  ROBO-PLUGIN talkin’ to Facebook’s ROBO-PLUGIN... and reams of personalized Twitter messages direct from the bowels of their Universe are scary … so, this morning, on my way into the hotel lobby where I usually spend the early part of my day attempting to WRITE bits of my Work In Progress I heard a strange unfamiliar noise…to my eternal astonishment, it was the Doorman greeting me… you’d be proud of me…I recovered my composure instantly, swallowed hard, and managed to blurt out, ‘Good Morning’ back at him… from such tiny acorns, mighty oak trees grow…this afternoon, I intend to practise before a mirror other phrases like ‘How are you today’…if I’m not arrested by eventide tomorrow, I’ll let ye know how it goes… see yeez later…

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Blogs To Follow




share around as usual …enjoy ..


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…you heard it here first…my (obviously ingenious) plan to re-finance the World’s Debts… …#TBSU…

…my chum, Albert Einstein, and I used to have a chortle or three together down at the Genius Club…in between messing around with alpha numeric codes like E=MC2 (see, it was the original computer password back then), and solving the ratio of the distance between the planets (he did it on the back of an old biscuit wrapper with a stubby pencil…)…we would swap epiphanian glimpses …the one that continually escaped us was the index for the average IQ of a politician… that was reckoned to be so far in the Minus bracket, the calculators couldn’t carry it…but, back to the present day… over my cornflakes and croissants this morning, I think I’ve devolved the solution to the DEBT MOUNTAINS OF THE WORLD...the Zuckermans and Gates’es and Dells of the world preside over the largest commodity humanity  has ever known..idle chatter on the SOSYAL NETWURKING channels…at my last tally-up, there are 25,736,014,993,612 Tweets every day, 11,788,335,094,182 Facebook entries, and at least the same again in all the other communication gizmo arenas…so, Master Gallacher’s blueprint is announced…a charge of 0.0000013 US Cents (13’s a lucky number for some )…for every connect. click, and key-tap into these networks…the aforementioned Computer Giant presidents will have their organizations collect the revenue, and, if they like, I will PERSONALLY handle the cash flows to ensure it gets to the right DEBT MOUNTAIN...no, officer, I’m NOT related to these people from Nigeria asking for donations for this and that…I only want to help solve all the World’s problems…and I’m not even a Beauty Pageant Contestant…think about it…Facebook Fees, Twitter Tariffs, Computer Credits, Dell Donations, Microsoft Milking, …oh, we could go on, but let’s just a  start gathering the money…I’m available right after my nap,… Matron’s just pushed that bluudy syringe-full into me…I’ll think of another incredulously clever  jape tomorrow…see yeez later…


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…vol-au-vents to the left of ’em, volley-pongs to the right of ’em…the thinly-read line…#TBSU…

…d’ye ever stop to wonder why we keep bloggin’ on like this ?…No?…me neither…but blog on we do…maybe it’s to track how many people spot the word ‘irregardless’ as a non-word and hasten to tell ye…or, Heaven forfend, stuffing a misplaced ‘e’ before an ‘i’ after ‘c’…s’a bit like the equation for working out what happens when ye bend a doughnut…unfathomable…these mysteries and many more come zinging at my little grey cells somewhere around 3 or 4 in the morning…the time the Russians call ‘the hour of the wolf’…instead of regular lines of sheep jumping over fences to get me back to sleep, in comes the author’s nightmare…the committee meetings in the brain, with all the book’s characters present, arguing no less…the notional dialogue in my head seems like a cross between Icelandic and Cryllic, mixed in with a dozen yaks baying…now d’ye understand how nuts a writer can be?…last night’s mid-slumber episode was a reincarnation of a piece of the Crimean War…my characters, who had nothing to do with that war, and never will have anything to do with that war…go charging towards a range of unseen artillery..then comes the voice over from SkyNews with the latest football results… I’ve booked a session with the Head Trick-Cyclist tomorrow…meantime, enters stage left, Matron, with an absurdly over-sized syringe…was I shouting that much?…oops …see yeez later …

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…once more unto the Blog, dear friends…an aide memoire…#TBSU…

…isn’t it a strange quirk of Nature?…our capacity to remember things is indirectly proportionate to our age…the older I’ve become, the more trying it is to recall ANYTHING of significance…try me on birthdays..totally hopeless…by the way, the easiest  way for man to remember his wife’s birthday, is to forget it JUST ONCE!...the sudden realisation a day later, that you were  supposed  to be somewhere yesterday is all too common…and how many of you dial a telephone number, and when it takes a few moments for the other end to reply, you’ve already forgotten who you were calling?…or walk to get something in the room next door, and by the time you get there, GONE, can’t recall what you were going there for?…yup, tickin’ all the boxes. me…that’s why today’s post is more of a reminder of what you younger bloods already know…what ‘TBSU’ is all about …we started this last year…it’s shorthand for ‘THE BLOG SCRATCHERS UNION’…in one of these extremely rare epiphanies that descend on my addled brain occasionally, it occurred to me that lots of the BLOGLAND population are like me…keen to support other kindred blogging spirits online…here’s how I do it…in most of my blogs, I end with the Blog Scratchers Corner, where I list ‘Blogs To Follow’….in there I include bloggers who’ve interacted with me and that way hopefully expand the opportunity for all of us to acquire more followers AND blogs for us to follow…don’t forget to put your own blog on the list...I invite you to pick up the names and pass them on…viral is and viral does, eh, Mabel?…it costs NOTHING except yer time and a few clicks on the keyboard…so, why don’t ye try it? …here’s today’s listing:

Blog Scratchers Corner


Blogs To Follow















Share ’em around, Lads and Lassies…enjoy ;):)


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…they don’t have a Very SCOTTISH Blog Tour…so here’s the Very BRITISH Blog Tour…#TBSU…

…Big Tam, aka Sir Sean Connery, he of the 00-something fame, would no doubt raise both his eyebrows at the lack of a Very SCOTTISH Blog Tour…nonetheless, being of a marginally more polite persuasion than he..we lads from the Govan Dockyards area ALWAYS say ‘excuse me’ as we deliver the signature ‘Glasgow Kiss’  head butt…and having spent 10 years of my early adulthood in London (I professed myself there as a missionary)..I am behoven to indulge the following request :

… I was nominated for ‘A Very British Blog Tour’ by fellow novelist, Susan Buchanan – http://susancbuchanan.blogspot.co.uk

The idea is to visit the blogs of, and show support to, the talented group of writers I’ve nominated for this award, so we can learn a bit more about them and what makes them tick. We all answer the same questions, but of course our responses will be quite different.(Unless, of course, some latent plagiarism lurks as yet undiscovered …a-hem..)
By the way, we British have certain conventions, traditions, and procedures that are expected. There is a dress code in the reading of this British blog and you are expected to comply with it.
For example…
Scottish Gentlemen will, of course, wear the kilt, other Gentlemen will wear suits, white shirts and dark ties. (Military ties are expected wherever possible). Ladies will wear dresses (one inch above the knee, no higher, no lower) and floral summer hats.  
A break for TEA and cucumber sandwiches is expected at some stage and is permissible (now that IS likely to happen)
The list at the bottom of the page is not a queue. It is an invitation and you are expected to accept that invitation and support the home-grown product. Now then, let us proceed in an orderly fashion. As you know, we are all very boring and staid in Britain, aren’t we?
Well, there’s a myth about the British and your starter for ten Stuffy, class conscious, boring, staid! But is this still relevant in today’s world? Let’s find out from our wonderful writers what they feel about it.

On with the show!

Q. Where were you born and where do you live at the moment?

A. I was born in the same street as the ‘other’ well-known Glasgow worthy, Sir Alex Ferguson, in the Scottish shipyards area of Govan, Glasgow sixty-five years ago, but it only seems like a half dozen decades and a half since…

Q. Have you always lived and worked in Britain or are you based elsewhere at the moment?

A. No. After leaving Glasgow at 16 for Tobermory in the Scottish Hebridean island of Mull, six wonderful years were spent among the islanders before the adventure south to London. Ten years there was enough. The next port of call was Asia, initially in Hong Kong, but 25 years later, the residency certificates had included Singapore, Sydney, Hong Kong again, and Manila in the Philippines…I realised after about 4 or 5 years out of the UK that I was toast, I could never be comfortable back there .. 9 years ago, I moved to my current location of Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates, here in The Middle East…

Q. Which is your favourite part of Britain?

A.Impossible to think of anywhere more close to my heart than Mull…the beauty of the island changed every day, relatively unspoiled by humanity’s over-indulgent interferences…the people also were truly magnificent..the kindness shown to a callow youth from Govan was immeasurably generous… unforgettable characters all of them…

Q. Have you ‘highlighted’ or ‘showcased’ any particular part of Britain in your books? For example, a town or city; a county, a monument or some well-known place or event?

A. The central character in The Violin Man’s Legacy and Vengeance Wears Black hails from Govan, and I give some insight to the rough life of his father sixty years ago, when money was tight, and belts were even tighter…

Q. There is an illusion – or myth if you wish – about British people that I would like you to discuss. Many see the ‘Brits’ as ‘stiff upper lip’. Is that correct? 

A: There may be a very thin layer of what used to be called ‘the upper crust’, whose face from the nose down was steeped in starch, but most of that has probably gone now…I’ve mingled with expatriate Brits all over the planet, and they are great ‘mixers’…

Q. Do any of the characters in your books carry the ‘stiff upper lip’? Or are they all ‘British Bulldog’ and unique in their own way?

A. Major Julian (Jules) Townsend in my books, is a former SAS commando officer, and is the coolest guy in the world, emotionally and metaphorically…I suppose he’s the closest I get with the archetype, but he’d bust yer balls if he thought ye were having a go at him…

Q. Tell us about one of your recent books

A.  Both of my books to date, and the next three (one is WIP 25K+ words so far) are centred on the three ex-SAS guys with their own specialised security outfit. They engage in black operations when they need to, in order to sort out the international baddies who somehow always come into their crosshairs…there’s plenty of action, international locations and pace to all of my writing… 

Q. What are you currently working on?

A: As noted in the last answer, Savage Payback is work in progress… I’ve also spent a LOT of time ‘building the platform’, getting connectivity as broad as possible through the social networking channels…I also have a blog, which (somehow) gained a Blogger of the Year Award last December…I really enjoy doing that…

Q. How do you spend your leisure time?

A: I watch soccer, the English Premier League, on television. Here in Abu Dhabi we get EVERY game live. As a youth I played professionally in Scotland…the love of the game has never left me…although it has to be said, some of the dying swans and ballerinas who seem to have crept onto the football pitches these days are not the kinda guys that used to kick me up in the air…

Q. Do you write for a local audience or a global audience?

A. At first I wrote just because I wanted to fulfil a life-long ambition ‘to write a book’…the astonishing success (at least, to me) my books have enjoyed in the  last 18 months (60,000+ downloads on Kindle), and the positive reader feedback I’ve had,  have me a tad more conscious that people who like this stuff are actually prepared to pay for it…so I try to keep honest by writing stuff that I like to read myself, and trust that others globally will also like it….

Q. Can you provide links to your work?

ARE YOU KIDDING!!!! Thought ye’d never ask ! Here ye go :


UK http://amzn.to/10wo0ha

US http://amzn.to/10wnMXB 


US  http://amzn.to/W59BB3

UK  http://amzn.to/13yV1YX

Canada http://amzn.to/14gODEZ


UK: http://amzn.to/W58SzQ 

USA: http://amzn.to/UNjx1M

 I have also tagged the following people in this, who hopefully will be doing their own VERY BRITISH blog posts!
I will attach their posts to mine, as soon as they have done them!









Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…roll them numbers, Mabel…we’re smokin’ !…#TBSU…

…I’m sure there must be a 12-step self-help program out there called Bloggers Anonymous, or suchlike…(not that it pertains to ME!…)..I’d be asking for a friend of mine y’understand…but just for comparisons sake, let me quote for you digitalizers out there what’s been happening on my web-blog…my initial Blunder into the Bleachers  of the BlogsPeople was May 7th last year…this is now post #130…comments total 1,300+ and an amazing 10,000+ views  recorded in that ten-month period…I reckon I know about a dozen folks, so the balance of the viewing I put down to Auntie Mabel and Uncle Fred, who’ll claim about 4,500 views each…a smattering of lost people looking for other sites, a score of nuisances trying to flog me advertising, and possibly Justin Beiber (who talks to EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD apparently), kinda makes up the numbers…so, as my favourite guru would ask, “what does it all mean?”…I think it means that there’s as many nutters out in that Web-by Universe who have as much time on their hands as I do…and yet, I feel I’m perpetually busy with all of this SOSYAL NETWURKIN…emb’dy else got these symptoms?…if so, p’raps we need to join the group…“my name’s Seumas, and I’m a Blogger”…meantime, let me pause, set aside momentarily the levity, replace it with a modicum of gravitas, and offer a heart-felt THANK YOU!!  to each and every visitor to my site…you’ve made my day, today, and every day for the past ten months…LUV YA!…can’t say the same for Matron, though , here she comes again with that bluudy syringe…see  yeez later …


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…DISCLAIMER TIME!!!…honest, Officer, I don’t know NUTHIN’ about yer diamonds heist…#TBSU…

…I suppose I shoulda known all those years ago…in a burst of rashness, under  ‘OCCUPATION’  on the passport application form I foolishly stuck ‘Diamonds Heist Specialist Advisor’…all the talk here now in my neck of the woods is that my novel, THE VIOLIN MAN’S LEGACY, is actually a not-very-well-concealed blueprint for that sparklers heist gig in Brussels a couple of days back…I admit I slammed the phone down in panic yesterday when some guy called and I thought it was a Dutch detective…turns out it was a chap from Hertz Van Rental…still an’ all, I’m keeping the curtains pretty tightly closed…the better half is also dishing out some grief as apparently there’s been a line of leggy, buxom blondes lining up outside the apartment…‘diamonds are a girl’s best friend.. etc etc…’…there’s also been a stream of emails from guys called ‘Buggsie, Louie and Three-Finger-Frank’ talking about cement shoes…I can’t remember ordering any online footwear.. whatever can they mean?…that’s my story, Officer, and I’m stickin’ to it…now, Mabel, where did ye put those tickets for South America, and that other passport ye got me last week?… yes, dear, the one WITHOUT ‘Diamonds Heist Specialist Advisor’ on it…yes, ‘Struggling Penurious Quill-Scraper’ is much more apt…if ye’ll just get the car engine runnin’ …I’ll be right out …see yeez later…

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…The ‘blueprint’ in question…



UK http://amzn.to/10wo0ha

US http://amzn.to/10wnMXB


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…I’m adding clairvoyancy to the curriculum vitae, Mabel…hand me that crystal ball, please…#TBSU…

…it’s not often that I delight in the SkyNews constant mind-numbing chatter…today gave a modicum of respite from the usual anaesthetic blether…gratifyingly no-one was shot today in the Low Countries during the massive diamond heist that took place this morning…but ever on the qui vive for the opportunity to pinch a bit of free publicity for THE VIOLIN MAN’S LEGACY, look at the story-line…my novel’s heist was in 1994 dollars, so not so far adrift in quantum from today’s little criminal jape…I lay no claim to predicting mundane matters such as who’s gonna win the Grand National Steeplechase…nor to calling the next political incumbent of whatever colour of House they all live in after election wins…no, indeed…I’ll restrict myself to foreseeing the more ordinary happenstance of robbery, murder, mayhem, and the odd bout of cheating at bingo…I thought of rigging up a direct helpline to my writing garret here in Abu Dhabi…just dial ‘WHATSNEXT’…hit the relevant code...1. for gang wipeouts…2. for sightings of the Loch Ness Monster on holiday in Palermo…3. for a copycat sequence  of ANY alleged service company that puts your call into a domino round of pressing number keys until you give up in frustration…4. the name of my next clairvoyant novel (SAVAGE PAYBACK...due out soon…)…right, Mabel, I think that just about milks that news snippet for all it’s worth…anybody got the number of the Reuters guys?…I wanna report another mob hit in 2014 …what, Matron?…seeing things? ..me ?…No!… I don’t need that bluudy syringe…leave me alone…

Blog Scratchers Corner


Blogs To Follow:






Share around as usual, Lads and Lassies.. .enjoy…


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…a request…to indulge this old blogger in one of his Bucket List items…#TBSU…

…five years ago, I thought ‘computer’ was a mis-spelling of ‘commuter’…my first laptop was purchased four years ago to tap out my first novel back then, one finger per hand…the mysteries of the Web and all the magical,  convolutionary equipment and universes created by Messrs Gates, Zuckerberg, and a gazillion whizz-kids from all over the planet still baffle me…comes now, however, COMPUTER STUFF FOR DUMMIES, aimed precisely at yours truly …gizmos galore populate the aforementioned equipment and MAKE THINGS POSSIBLE for a tired ol’ scribblin’ buzzard to achieve…not the least gimmick to fall across my binary-driven hard-drive is a wee thing that lets me sing along with other recordings…hence, one of my Bucket List check-off thing-ys is DONE. …by clicking the link below, you will have your ears and patience lambasted… at ENORMOUS expense, I invited into my little cubicle here in Abu Dhabi, the entire Andre Rieu orchestra AND the Massed Pipes and Drums to accompany me as I sing Amazing Grace…I hope you like it, but as they said in that ‘Gone With The Wind’ flick, if ye don’t like it, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn…ye can  even sing along with it if ye like…it’s made a happy man even older…

PS..Master Andrew Peters is PROHIBITED from listening to this, coz, he’s a real musician…



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…Wanted—several (large) cash-counting machines…and a guide to repelling begging letters…#TBSU…

…I know lots of you Lads and Lassies from Planet Scribbler will be like me…far too busy to keep pace with normal correspondence that ordinary people have to attend to…but evr’y now and then I take time to catch up with some regular paperwork and bills maintenance…this morning has been spent poring over what has become an avalanche of incoming monies…it seems that some benign Father-y Christmas-sy figure has been popping my name into  the ‘send’ boxes of tons of people who just wanna give me piles of money…I’m humbled by the range of personnel…kind ladies, some of them recently widowed spouses of Nigerian generals…others, insiders in some unrecognisable government treasury departments in countries I never knew existed…a smattering of (obviously) high-level bank executives with access to unclaimed funds in forgotten accounts…lottery winners who’ve discovered a way to bend their local tax regulations…there’s some Eastern European-sounding dudes with more consonants in their names than a whole village of Polish families…at the last count, before my desk calc’later ran out of 00000000000000000’s space, I’m now worth more than God and Donald Trump put together…now I can have gold bars lining my candle-lit writer’s garret..maybe buy up some of the large publishing houses, and sack all the bosses (revenge can be SO sweet)…and ALL I had to do was give these nice people my exact bank account details,and, and, and …excuse me a moment, I think I hear police car sirens outside and a loud knocking at the ward door…wonder who they’re after, Matron…this may take a little while…

Blog Scratchers Corner


Blogs To Follow





Enjoy, share around as usual to your blogging buddies.. cheers


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff