Tag Archives: #HeatherHill

…Authors… there’s a WURLD of difference between writing humorous books and writing humour in yer books…

…of all the JONGGRs available to the reading public, I remain in complete awe of those scribblers who write humour… Authoress pals such as Heather Hillheather and SuzanneSuzanne Kelman… it demands an ability not only to be funny, but also to have that special skill needed to infuse wit into yer masterpieces… and all on a constant, page after page manner… Suzanne tells me the art is in keeping a rhythm to the writing… of course, many of yeez Lads and Lassies of Blog Land who are part of the writers family will have occasion to have flashes of humour in yer own stuff… generally in the dialogue between/amongst yer characters, more as throwaway lines than lengthy passages of script… and that’s perfectly acceptable… but trying to be funny in a book that’s essentially a hard-boiled crime, or action, or historic, or romantic WURK is likely to be unsuccessful… some do have the knack of knowing where to insert humour in the omnipresent voice in the course of the story-telling… one such gifted proponent of that is my friend, Carol J. Hedges, carolwhose magnificent Victorian-era crime series contains unexpected flashes of oblique humour, which heighten greatly the pleasure in reading her narratives… switching to shorter bits of authorship such as blogs and articles, then it’s more appropriate to dress yer WURDS in humour if that’s yer intent… however, merely telling jokes should be left to the television or music-hall comedians… they do it for a living… and they’ll be the first to tell you how difficult it is to be constantly funny… if needs must, disguise yer punchlines in stories themselves, not jokes… there’s a separate skill set in that ‘business of raconteurship’… the finest of these in my lifetime include the late Peter Ustinov and currently, my own special God of Humour, Billy Connolly… keep smiling… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…here’s a Guest Blogger who’ll delight yeez with her humour and in-yer-face wit… Author Heather Hill… #TBSU…

…Guest Bloggers come in all guises to this Web page… seldom have I had such a refreshing contributor as today’s pal, Author Heather Hill… her arachnically-challenged post itself will intrigue yeez, but I implore yeez (that’s ‘beg’, Mabel) to have a sneak view of her debut off’ring, ‘The New Mrs D’ … like a splash of cold water in yer face, this is real original wit… and it’s not yer chic-lit book… it’s out and out funny, clever, and more than just a tad insightful… they say successful writing resonates with readers… wee snippets and even bigger snippets that make yeez think, ‘yes, been there, done that, felt that’… step up Heather Hill, immediate darling hit on the Amazon charts… yeez’ll like her… over to Heather:

b & w


Firstly a HUGE thank you to Seumas for letting me loose on his site after my reading his excellent, ‘Self Publishing Steps to Successful Sales’, which I devoured prior to releasing my debut novel, ‘The New Mrs D’ before it promptly shot into an Amazon 100 Best Sellers list within twenty four hours of becoming available for pre-order. And all because the lady loves… Seumas Gallacher.

So, to my guest post, which will take the form of a confession. I’ve been wishing to reveal this for some time, but had to travel the world via the power of Google just to make sure I wasn’t bonkers before telling people this:

I see spiders that aren’t there.

Don’t laugh; it’s true. I’m not writing some twisted yet utterly hilarious ‘The Sixth Sense’ spoof. (But then again, hold that thought…)

Sometimes I tend to nod off during the day. Only for a teenie, tiny nap you understand – and every now and again, just at that point between sleep and complete wakefulness – you know the part, where you’re just noticing a weird, thunderous noise that might be coming from your own throat, your mouth is hanging open and you’ve dribbled bit – I see spiders. Either on my pillow, climbing up the wall or (horrors) hanging from a bit of web over my face. And yes, they are actual spiders. Not weird shapes that could be spiders; not dark shadows that have arachnid qualities, not my own eyelashes – okay once it was. These are genuine spiders of varying species which I am sure I have seen before out in the real world. Yet after I blink, rub my eyes or hit out at them in panic – POUF! – they are gone. And the really mysterious thing is THEY WERE NEVER THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Now you are wondering why I don’t think I’m bonkers after checking the world wide… erm… web (no pun intended). It’s because after Googling ‘I see spiders that aren’t there’, I’ve found LOADS of people who’ve had the same thing happen to them! I’m not alone! If I’m being haunted by some spider-from-another-dominion, they aren’t just picking on me. I’m not the only one capable of helping lost spider souls cross over into the light. I don’t have to feel I’m the sole portal for relaying messages about brutal, spider murders to hoards of devastated, spider relatives. This is great news. And yet, still weird.

Luckily, I’m not really terrified of spiders or this would be really awful; although I wouldn’t like to wake up to find a giant, furry tarantula on my bedside table. Thankfully, it seems none of these have been the victim of a homicide recently.

So, I’m okay, don’t worry. They’re not real, just visiting. Like me today…

Thank you Seumas.

And now, I must return from whence I came and get back to writing my next novel. Oh and Google said, despite my having company out there in the world, I am bonkers.

…You have been reading comedy writer, author and mum of five (not the band) Heather Hill. You’ll find her blog here at: www.hell4heather.com, her daily thoughts and musings on Twitter @hell4heather and her genuinely hilarious debut novel, ‘The New Mrs D’, here: www.bit.ly/TheNewMrsD

…yeez can also
Find her on LinkedIn
Join her on Facebook
Follow her on Twitter 

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…now, Lads and Lassies of Blog Land, go click on the Kindle picture of The New Mrs D and just try to read only two pages… a bit like trying to eat just one peanut… bet yeez can’t … see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



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…some reviewers CAN be SO generous to yeez… thanks, m’Lady, Author Heather Hill… #TBSU…

…this ol’ Jurassic makes no apologies for a sustained program of ‘presence’ on the SOSYAL NETWURKS… I try to practice what I preach… being proud of yer wee literary masterpieces is much to be encouraged for all of we quill-scrapers on here… most of us recognise there’s sum’times a fine line between ‘entertaining and interesting marketing’ and downright ‘spamming’… the latter is an absolute ‘NO NO’… never ‘MAYBE’… never ‘BUT, JUST THIS ONCE’… my ‘umble opinion for what it’s worth is that it’s acceptable to have a portion of yer promotional activity wrapped into yer busy-ness on the usual MEDYA channel suspects, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Stumbleupon, Tumblr, Google+, WhateverLink,… outright spamming is easy to spot, and more often as not gets what it deserves…an immediate thumb-click on the mouse and it disappears… being blessed as I am with innumerable great pals on the Web, my interaction takes many forms… some serious stuff, some laff-yer-ass-off nonsense, hopefully some educational, some tips, some guidance for my pals, and vice versa… it’s called ‘positive relationship maintenance’… and I LUV IT!… so when, like at present, I receive a gift of a generous review for SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES from the likes of my LUVLY friend, Author, Heather Hill, I feel I’m still doing it right… I’d be glad to have yer feedback on how this stuff WURKS for each of yeez… what methods do yeez use to get yer wee babies into people’s view without p*ssing them off?… here’s Heather’s review below… see yeez later … LUV YEEZ!

I am just about to self publish and feeling pretty worried about the whole thing so I have actually read several books on the subject recently. This one is by far the most straightforward & friendly. Another thing that stands out for me is Seumas remains very much proactive in the social media sphere, whereas other authors of self pub advice books have long since cut and run. I read one just last week talking of all the great joys of Twitter yet when I went to look this million selling author up, he hadn’t tweeted for six months. So, he’s made his money, great! But I can’t go to him for further inspiration. Seumas is always around via his various social media accounts, always friendly, always ready with an encouraging word, always sharing on behalf of other writers. This author still practices what he preaches. Great book. Helpful, practical advice.





Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff