Tag Archives: The Blogger’s Guide to Absolutely Nothing

…Guest Blogging with my great pal, Author Roy L. Murry… #TBSU…

…the inexhaustible accommodation to other authors constantly offered by Author pal, Roy.L. Murry is legendary… he let me roam onto his web page again recently… the interview is repeated below and can be found also on his site, which you MUST visit…www.conniesbrother.blogspot.com   

Interview with Seumas Gallacher

Author of 
Questions by Author Roy Murry
Hi, Seumas, how’s your self-publishing experience developing these days?
Hello, Roy. First of all, thanks a bundle for inviting me back onto your blog page. It’s an honor to be allowed a second visit to talk with you. The indie publishing adventure rolls on apace, with the third title in the Jack Calder crime thriller series, SAVAGE PAYBACK, recently up on Amazon. It’s still a terrific buzz being involved with this wonderful, global quill-scrapers family on the Web. The down-loads on all three titles have exceeded my wildest expectations.
What are you writing now?
The story lines for the Jack Calder franchise are a long way away from being exhausted. The current work in progress is KILLER CITY, with more lethal immersion in fighting international crime syndicates.
Have you changed the style and content much from the first book in the series, THE VIOLIN MAN’S LEGACY?
As a matter of fact, yes, the story lines have taken on a grittier, and at times, harsher reality, where the good guys get their share of setbacks. Combating heavy-hitting international drug-trafficking syndicates is a perilous activity. I like the way that has developed, and readers share that they also like it.
Remind us what your books are about?
THE VIOLIN MAN’S LEGACY and VENGEANCE WEARS BLACK were the first two in what has now developed into the Jack Calder series. SAVAGE PAYBACK carries on in the same mode as the first two. The novels spin around a trio of Ex-SAS commandos who form their own specialist security firm. The stories involve international crime, drug peddling, people trafficking, murders, arson, and all these cuddly things bad people get up to when they’re not being angels. It’s not about the SAS a la Andy McNab, because being former commandos, these guys are not bound by the usual terms of engagement when they set about the bad lads.
Where do you get the ideas for the stories?
When I was corporate trouble-shooting in the Far East, part of my career involved looking after a financially-distressed shipping company, which needed clearing out of some serious criminal elements. During the course of that engagement, I received death threats which resulted in me being protected with an armored car and a squad of armed bodyguards. These were trained by a former SAS officer who was also a personal friend. I guess that’s where the concept started.
I know you’re an avid social networking proponent. Do you have any tips for other authors with regard to that?
Yes. These days, it’s important to recognize that writing the stuff is only the beginning. The ‘building the platform’ of a social media network is vital. The most enduring way to do that is by reciprocating constantly. Get into the habit of helping other writers through Re-Tweeting on Twitter, sharing on Facebook and so on. ‘Paying it forward’ is a gratifying feeling. The global writing family is the biggest-hearted bunch of people I’ve ever known. I spend about half of my ‘writing business’ time on the social networks and the other half on the writing.
Blog                : seumasgallacher.com
Twitter            : @seumasgallacher
 Email              : seumasgallacher@yahoo.com
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… incident at the fast checkout lane… a timely re-run of a post done more than 6 months ago… #TBSU…

‘…lightning never strikes twice in the same place’, ‘they’ say… ‘they’ are wrong… my local supermarket fast-checkout lane this morning was mugged by a multi-item purchaser with NO cash in hand… second time it’s happened when I’ve been there, and again, my best weapon had to be press-ganged into service… the broad Dockside Govan, Glasgow accent, loaded for fast-queue hijacking nutters… alas, as before, my attempt at sarcasm and education fell on unsurprisingly deaf ears… the culprit smiled and shrugged shoulders… the checkout girl acquiesced to the nutter’s need to proceed… but, I vow not to give up on this… my new grail… clearing the fast-checkout lane of imbecility… here’s a rerun of a post I did here when this last occurred with me present (goodness knows how many times a day it actually goes on…) …

… so which is it, punk?… ye can’t read?… or ye can’t count?… #TBSU…

… I’ve seen Al Pacino in the Godfather trilogy, arguably the Mother of All Mafia-style movies, ever… admired De Niro in his various hard-man roles… been dazzled with a five-decade string of Jimmy Bond, Dubble-Oh-Slur films… and it occurs to me, that I’ve never seen any of them in scenes that most of we mere mortals have to endure… case in point, triggered by a Facebook item I read earlier (I’m still in the ostracizing jail of these nice people by the way) …it instantly brought back a deluge of mem’ries… the blood-pressue-upward inducing episodes that play out daily at yer nearest supermarket checkout lines… ye’re in a hurry and pop yer three, maybe four items at most into the wee plastic hand-basket, the one with the awkward carrying handles… and make a beeline for the till checkout lady at the end exit row… ye can’t miss it… above it, hangs a billboard-size notice in WURDS that even Blind Pugh could read, ‘TEN ITEMS OR LESS—AND CASH ONLY’… the bloke in front starts to empty his lot onto the sliding conveyor thingy… the checkout lady starts to ring up the items,…Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching!... when the Ka-Ching! Kount reaches about FIFTEEN bluudy items, the hand-basket resembles a conjurer’s box… the items keep appearing… my Govan Docklands sense of right and wrong can’t be contained … I ask the fellow in disgust… ‘so, which is it?… ye can’t read?.. or ye can’t count?’… he stiffens up, opens his hands and says (get this!), ‘well, ye know, I’m in a hurry’ …  THIS is when the fight usually starts… to the unrestrained delight of the rest of the 10-or-less brigade in the queue behind me, I launch into one of my,  ‘Oh, ye’re in hurry? well that’s okay, coz I’ve got my whole feckin life to wait here at the bluudy FAST checkout queue, waiting to teach numpties like you how to read and count’ tirades… fluster, fluster, fluster from Mister Can’t-Read-Or-Count… he makes to pay… WITH A BLUUDY CREDIT CARD!...  he hasn’t got a red cent on him! … and of course, the card limit has long been exhausted  and gets rejected… the ensuing passage requires an editorial swift drawing across with a curtain… so, next time ye see Al Pacino, or Bob De Niro ambling toward the Quick Checkout at yer local Supermarket, have a look… this ol’ Jurassic’ll be right there alongside them… you talkin’ to me???…


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…the ultimate Dead Poet Society… beware of Multiple Burns… #TBSU…


…the British Parliament’s House of Commons has one… most hi-fidelity sound systems have at least one, p’raps more… a certain corner in Hyde Park has one… and now Abu Dhabi has one… a Speaker, that is… fanned by the usual delusions of adequacy, my author bio now carries an extra line, claiming, falsely or otherwise, that this ol’ Jurassic can be labelled among other dubious callings, ‘Speaker’… couple that with the advent of the Birthday Anniversary of Scotland’s finest bard, Robert Burns, and the avalanche of the ultimate Dead Poet Society gatherings known as Burns Suppers… the call for ‘Speakers’ goes out… the St. Andrew’s Society in the United Arab Emirates’ capital city (no, Mabel, not Dubai…Abu Dhabi…) has scrounged around for sumb’dy to deliver the Address known as the Immortal Memory this Friday evening… most of the other likely candidates have taken early vacation to enjoy the floods in Europe or the blizzards in North America… in short, the usual suspects are not available… the Last-Semi-Coherent-Speaker-Standing is yours truly… the call from the Society’s Chieftain was brief and unequivocal …do it, or we go to Interpol, and tell them what really happened during that misunderstanding with the sausages in Tesco’s…  a hard bargain, indeed… but there’s more… once having accepted the mission (read ‘caved in to coercion’), I was immediately hammered with a second ‘request’ to do it all over again on the following Friday evening… this time at a gathering of imported ‘nobility’ with the promise of at least a Knighthood if I ‘don’t ruck it up’… at least I think that’s what they said… so, if yeez overhear me gibbering away in strange tongues this coming week more than my usual self-mutterings, please don’t call Matron with that bluudy syringe… it’s just me with an attack of Multiple Burns… see yeez later…



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…Rags Daniels, Author Extraordinaire, Bon-Webvant… who LUVS ya baby?… #TBSU…

…there are times when yeez sense there may just be a wee glimmer of hope for the planet after all… yesterday, my great pal Down Under, the super, m’Lady, Cate Russell-Cole, posted a blog piece about Rags Daniels, who is recuperating from a severe stroke… I was privileged to pass it on as a reblog… it basically directed good folks to lend their prayers and good thoughts toward one of our terrific internet scribbling family… the suggestion was also mooted that p’raps tangible support in the way of downloading some of Rags’ books from Amazon would be appreciated… I feel certain that whatever may be achieved in terms of any financial contribution from royalties-on-sales will pall into the background  against the sheer overwhelming surge of LUV for one of our own… my reblog on Rags has already, in a 24-hour span, received more hits, reblogs, Re-Tweets, and Facebook shares than any other item EVER posted through my blog… yeez Lads and Lassies of Blog Land are just MAGNIFICENT people… those of yeez who’ve ever followed any postings by Rags will know that he’s a special character, the likes of which the WURLD could do with having more of… if yeez feel inclined to throw yer support in here, click on whatever Amazon links yeez follow under ‘RAGS DANIELS’ and yeez’ll see his novels there… oh, and by the way, dude can write! … Rags Daniels, Author Extraordinaire, Bon-Webvant…. who LUVS ya, baby?… I think the answer’s clear… we ALL do… LUV YEEZ



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…a wee reminder of what ‘#TBSU’ means… ‘The Blog Scratchers Union’… ye’re welcome! #TBSU…

…ever since infant school for me, (about a hundred years ago), I’ve been aware that we all need pals… hermits exist of course, but the days of the I-wanna-be-alone Greta Garbo-es, and the seen-once-in-a-decade Howard Hughes-es speak of another time… the internet is here, and unlikely to go away in the near future… as many of yeez Lads and Lassies of Blog Land will attest, it can still feel a bit lonely sometimes even for a modern-day quill-scraper… hence, THE BLOG SCRATCHERS UNION (#TBSU)… for those who’ve read this before, turn away now, go do the washing-up, or polish yer shoes for WURK… for the rest of yeez, particularly the first-time-seeing-the-‘TBSU’-label-and-WUNDERIN-what it-means-people… welcome to your very own support system… FREE OF CHARGE (that’s bound to please all my Scottish mates)… it WURKS like this … ‘you scratch my blog, and I’ll scratch your blog’… at the end of most of my blog posts I add names of bloggers I’ve encountered recently… I call it‘Blog Scratchers Corner’  …sample appended for ease of reference, Mabel… adding ‘#TBSU’ to the title also pinpoints the feature… many of yeez have already joined in… it does help to expand yer followers for yer blogs, and you follow them back, of course… by the way, when yeez do yer lists, don’t forget to ADD YER OWN BLOG each time… my own follower lists have trebled in the last 6 months… so it is efficient… go for it… enjoy… #TBSU…

Blog Scratchers Corner


Blogs To Follow






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…a new Author friend comes calling… meet Sheelah Turner… #TBSU…

…sum’times, yeez have to wonder if all of these twenty-seven billion gazillion people on the Web actually exist… so, every now and then, it’s good to meet face to face with a ‘connection’, ‘friend’, ‘name’ from the ether, that up until now has only been a  ‘communication link’… this morning in Abu Dhabi (not too many of yeez drop in for a coffee and croissant here), I met the delightful Sheelah Turner, who, with her husband, Oyvind Helgerud recently completed a transcontinental odyssey on wheels starting in Europe and weaving their way across Africa, reaching parts that other people never reach… in due course, their travels, travails, tributes and tribulations will grace a much-awaited book… not yer usual run-of-the-mill travelogue, Mabel… but a fascinating fifteen-month journey of exploration… an exploration of more than the mere geography of a continent, but an engrossing compendium of personal discovery… like many of us, Sheelah and Oyvind were salaried servants to the Great God Give-Me-A-Career-And-A-Paycheck-And-Let-Me-Have-A-Life… then one fine day, just like that, they decided ‘living’ has more to offer, and so their odyssey was born… I’ll leave that as a teaser for yeez, but watch this space for news of progress in getting their written WURD out there… on a personal note, it’s such a buzz to sit and swap Literary War Stories with others from this great quill-scraping family… sharing the ‘hows’, the ‘whys’, the ‘why-nots’ of this hypnotic roller-coaster self-publishing gig… it’s as much fun as yeez can have with yer clothes on… in the meantime, check out Sheelah and Oyvind’s blog on :


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…teach yeez how to write, Authors?… sorry, I doubt if emb’dy can teach yeez THAT… #TBSU…

…I used to think the Theory of Relativity had sum’thing to do with my Uncle Fred, my cousins and others in the extended Gallacher family… when that turned out not to be the case, it imbued in my psyche a deep suspicion of Theories of any kind… even more so these days, when I discover various websites offering their ‘Theory of Good Writing’ …or the ‘Theory of Splendid Scribbling’… or an ‘Introduction to the Theory of Quintessential Quill-Scraping’… all, of course offered for a fee, ‘modest’ or otherwise… call me a Skottish Skeptic if yeez will, but I take it all with a barrowload of salt… here’s why, Mabel… I have no quarrel with the concept of teaching yeez Grammar, and Spelling, and when to use ‘Eye’ before ‘EE’, and the ROOLS for the use of good stuff like prepositions, conjunctions, gerunds, and the motley assortment of things that bother the Grammar Police… coz all these ROOLS are there to be broken… but none of that stuff teaches yeez how to write... oh, I know, the technical term for ‘writing’ is making WURDS appear on a piece of paper, or these days, on a laptop screen… but that’s not ‘author writing’… ‘author writing’ is about creating... it’s about use of WURDS and language, most of which has never been seen before in the order that yeez place them in yerselves in yer wee masterpieces… and here’s another thought… who do yeez think taught Billy Shakespeare and Chuck Dickens, and Johnny Steinbeck how to ‘write’… no computers or web links or correspondence courses back in these days to gobble up the silver groats… nobody taught them how to produce the classic tomes we usually hate at school and later come to appreciate as wonderful literature as we grow older… so, next time yeez see the adverts offering to teach yeez how to write… remember yeez heard it here first, I doubt if emb’dy can teach yeez THAT… let writing be yer own creation… let yer own imagination be the source… then yeez’ll be getting closer to being a ‘writer’… now, with all that shouting, Matron’s here with that bluudy syringe… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ


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…Author Guest Posts are the best thing since Sliced Blogs… #TBSU…

…I lay no claim to being an expert in anything… truth be known, this ol’ Jurassic prob’ly figures in the top five exponents on the planet for the ‘trial and error’ methodology… and in my particular case, with heavy preponderance on the ‘error’ element… when the self-publishing phenomenon visited its hypnotic pull on me, it didn’t take long to have me submersed in the whole nine yards of the indie author gig… and I LUV IT!... I freely admit I’m a computer bumpkin… an Internet Idiot… a Literary Luddite… a Download Dunce… a Blogging Bumbler… but, being the self-willed (read ‘awkward, hard-skulled’) person my Mother warned me I may become, I continued to stumble through each rite of passage in the Amazon Kindle do-it-yerself journey to authordom… happily, some of the little grey cells still function, and the realisation set in that there are certain things on the Web that make the blogging quill-scraper’s existence a tad simpler… stuff that adds to yer well-being… pushing near the front of these, yeez’ll find GUEST POSTS... a couple of years ago, when I received my first ever invitation to do one of these on a brave Blogger’s website, it threw me for a loop… I sweated over it for almost a week… I wanted to get it RIGHT!… like being asked to sumb’dy’s house for a posh dinner party… what knife and fork to use? …yeez know the kinda thing… three years and roughly a hundred or more GUEST POSTS later, I rejoice in these invitations… the friendships built through reciprocative blog pieces are fantastic… of course, they also provide a proper means of broadening the reach of yer own WURK… getting yer masterpieces to a much wider audience than yeez could hope to do solo… I  heartily recommend to all and any bloggers/writers/Webbies to get involved… do GUEST POSTS… invite GUEST POSTS… yeez won’t regret it… which leads nicely into an open invitaaion for any of yeez to come and park a GUEST POST on this blog…LUV YEEZ

Blog Scratchers Corner


Blogs To Follow







…as usual, share and enjoy… 🙂




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…my Ozzie readership’s almost got the rest of yeez outnumbered… there’s ONE of them now! … #TBSU…

…the Asian Motor Companies wrote the guidebook on it… how to enter, then conquer a marketplace… they’d stick a vehicular toe in the waters globally, then throw in more product … price it competitively, advertise the heck out of it, and voila, market share and profits go through the roof… so, if Messrs Kia, Nissan, Toyota, Hyundai are able to do it, why can’t we?… well, for a start, I don’t make motorcars, but let’s not quibble over detail… we’re talking books here, Mabel… novels and the like… scribbled stuff…and laptopped-to-the-nth masterpieces… and more particularly, offerings via the Great God Amazon Kindle… …Amazon Australia recently came on stream officially… hey-ho, we thought… gazillions of new readers, we thought… the Lucky Country will pile in for our quill-scraper goodies, we thought… right?… sadly, wrong… y’see, the Matilda-Waltzing cobbers  already had access to Amazon, but through the USA and the UK… additive readership was as forthcoming as an honest statement from a politician… however, hope springs eternal, and no more eternally sprung than in the breast of the legion of self-publishing Lads and Lassies of Blog Land… lots of my great Facebook friends hail from Down Under… likewise on the Google+ network… and Goodreads is abound with Strine accents… today, my wee crime thriller, SAVAGE PAYBACK struck Green and Gold… my first direct purchaser of it from a Koala Kousin… and any self-respecting Aussie will tell yeez, when there’s even ONE of them, yeez start to get outnumbered… I fully expect at least another ONE sale from the Antipodes before the end of the year… I must go and check the exchange rate…. we don’t want to move the global Balance of Payments too violently… so, wherever my beautiful, appreciated, lone purchaser resides, be it from Brisbane to Darwin, Perth to Sydney, good on yer, mate… cheers … LUV YEEZ… in case there’s any others of yeez down there lurking, waiting to pounce on a read, here yeez are :

Amazon Links for SAVAGE PAYBACK:

Aus : http://bit.ly/184hKzs

UK   http://amzn.to/1gTgJh0

US   http://amzn.to/16hKHci




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… ‘Time Was…’ …TBSU…

…I’m sure that tons of yeez Lads and Lassies out there in the virtual Candle-lit Garret universe will understand that just sum’times there’s absolutely no accounting for the whimsy that takes us… p’raps it’s part of the Quill-Scrapers Union membership requirements… to throw sum’thing a bit different into the mixer… my novels are kinda heavy-duty smacking good guys and bad guys around, with multiple blowings-up, and myriad methods of terminating peoples’ breathing (murders and such, Mabel)… the blog is generally reserved for the (supposedly) lighter-veined, humorous sprinklings… so today, I was riffling through some old files and came across a collection of some dust-covered sheets of  poetry I wrote ‘way back when… I offer this one here as NUTHIN more than a sop to my own personal whimsy… if yeez enjoy it, that’s just grand… if yeez don’t, that’s okay too, but please don’t complain about it on Facebook or anywhere else that my Granny might see it… this was penned 20 years ago…


Time was,

a man could stand at the edge of his life,

look over,

even jump

if he really felt like it.

Time was,

love meant romance,

and romance was painful

but nothing else cluttered it up.

Time was,

obligations meant just breathing,

and turning up each day,



experience got in the way,

the hard-edged sort

that leaves a taste in the mouth


And people

who really don’t know any better,

want to throw their hats in the ring

and tell other people how it’s supposed to work.

But then again,

when the Gods are truly kind,

along comes the second chance,

this time the real second chance,

and words are not enough

to tell it like it is.


from time was,

time is…

Thanks God….


April 1994



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