Once more unto the blogging breach, dear friends…

Undaunted by visions of an exploding laptop, we trundle on with the next epistle. There’s none so dumb as those who haven’t a clue about what’s going on around them…I readily plead that I am the unrivaled leader of that pack. In Glasgow when I was growing up a thousand years ago, we used to have a saying, ‘act daft and you’ll get on the trams for free’… Fast forward, and read, ‘if you’re clueless on computers and web-by stuff, barge on regardless’. The mystical science for the new indie self-publishing author ( and probably for some of the established grandees too ) includes what seems like a straightforward phrase, ‘building a platform’. For those of you who hail from a construction or show business background, this may seem weird, but it has nothing to do with either of these. What it refers to is having the gall to stick your name in front of people, (who would normally call the police if you turned up at their doorstep), and expect them to embrace your labours of lyrical love with open arms. minds and wallets. “Easy” I hear the insane amongst you mutter, covering your sniggers with a half-closed fist. The nearest corollary to this kind of campaign was Samson’s seven improbable tasks. Already shorn of locks and brains, I stepped up and dived headlong into it. This week saw the prising open of the Pandora’s box that is the modern day Facebook. Getting in and on was relatively simple ( in fact, maybe far too many relatives). Then the toughie …who to invite? How to invite? It is strewn with booby traps. The capacity to upset or insult a legion of people simultaneously lurks at every press of a keyboard cypher. In the end, I merely tapped my finger on every name thrown at me by Facebook itself, until they had the audacity to tell me I might get blocked for asking too many fellow travellers to join my happy trip. So, now I pause for Facebook breath, not wishing to upset Mr Zuckerberg and his zillionaire associates. How does that compare, Mr Samson? Check it out. Twitter, Done. LinkedIn, Done. Goodreads, Done. Facebook, Doing. Blog, Done, Kinda. That writers’ Nirvana may be no closer than this time last week, but heck, it feels like fun, and that probably makes it illegal…so much the better. I hear the scraping of the key in the cell door lock, time to stash this under the pillow. The breakout’s planned for next month. Until then, snicker bars and ice cream, please, tons of ice cream.. pretty please… sound and picture fade…


Filed under Blether

5 responses to “Once more unto the blogging breach, dear friends…

  1. Seumas, Seumas, Seumas! This is some good stuff, my new, dear blogging and tweeting friend (possibly FaceBook, but I’m less enamored of that agency so I may not have friended you there).

    Your writing here impresses me mightily! It is sprightly and humorous and keeps the eyes moving forward. Your subject here is an intriguing one. With Facebook, you are discussing Jay Squires’ experience to a T. I also found it very easy to accumulate “friends” there. Too easy it appears, for I got the same warning from Mr Zuckerberg’s cronies. I was put in FaceBook jail for one day and given the warning (I wish I had written it down) to the effect that I would be able to use it again in 24 hours but my account would be monitored daily and if further abuses — including “poking” others, for cryin’ out loud, were encountered I would be forever banned!

    So… thank you for posting this piece, Seumas. If there are any observations to follow this one, you’ve a viewer!


    • It’s the whole glorious nine yards of all of this stuff that completely bedazzles me. I suppose being a child of the post war years in Glasgow kept me shielded from most of the 

      so-called modern world, but now I’m coming on apace, with lots of mileage to make up. but sometimes, just sometimes , the old tortoise wins , eh ?

      Great to hear from you Jay,

      have a great  one , Sir.





  2. Susan Buchanan

    Seumas, you do make me laugh. I think in a few months time, you could convert your blog posts into a book! Full of good Glasgow banter. You’ll be rivalling Ron for The Patter! And check you two, getting thrown in Facebook jail – tut tut! Keep the posts comin’ – they brighten up my day. Are you sure you weren’t a stand-up in a past life? Sooz


  3. Pingback: … these little Blogposts grow up so fast, don’t they, Mabel ?… #TBSU… | Seumas Gallacher

  4. Congrats on your “BLOG BIRTHDAY”. All the best to you and your endeavors.


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